Mental Health Day

October 11, 2017

Mental Health Day

I am so happy that this year particularly there has been so much focus and awareness around the importance of mental health. With each conversation the veil thins and the stigma diminishes. With each person that comes forward to share their vulnerabilities and openness of their struggle the darkness lightens and we all feel we can express more freely our own issues of the psyche. Like a lot of people I know in this modern works beset by impossibly high standards, unrealistic aesthetics and parameters of how we are supposed to be I have experienced extreme anxiety, paranoia and depression. That creeping fear that I would perhaps never make something of myself or fulfill those creative desires I had believed in as a child. The fear I had lost myself and may never come out the other side. As my world grew darker especially in my early twenties I was looking for a way to self destruct. I desperately wanted help but didn’t know how to ask for it. I lost myself in drugs and I remember once hoping I would find heroin so things would bad enough that someone else would have to come to my rescue as I was too ashamed to ask for help and was wickedly proficient at pretending I was ok. Waking up on the edge of a cliff in Ibiza a cm from death in a ketamine induced paralysis didn’t deter my will to self destruct. I was able to convince myself that I really wasn’t that bad despite the fact I had developed a stutter and a three second concentration span. My only mission in life was to either be asleep or be on drugs anything but to be myself. If you had told me at the time that I had mental problems I may have agreed but that didn’t make me think I actually needed or deserved help or it could do something about it. The only reason I eventually changed was becaus I hit rock bottom and had no where else to go. But you don’t have to hit rock bottom to change or to get help and I really want anyone and everyone in a bad place right now to know this. You don’t have to be in the state I was in to consider yourself as someone with mental health issues. It’s ok not to feel ok but it’s not ok to numb out your feelings as I did because you have every resource to help you move forward though any pain and suffering you may be going through right now. When we feel a lack of connection our mental health can suffer. The key is to connect where you can and to know that you are not alone. If I had known this I would have gotten better a lot quicker. You are never alone unless you choose to be. The truth will always set you free.

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthday #opendiscussion

 


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