Are you perfect?

November 9, 2019

Sometimes I wish I could go back to being this carefree child who couldn’t give a shit what people thought about her, what to wear, how to look! Before being tinged by the negative effects of others opinions or judgements. 

I watched @jesynelson bbc3 documentary last night and it was heartbreaking. If follows her journey from X factor to stardom. Her new found status attracted online bullies that destroyed her life leading her to attempt suicide. No young woman who is still trying to find herself and developing in so many ways should have to go through that. Bullying inflicts wounds that can stay with you forever. I should know. I still struggle with it today and it ended when I was a teenager.

Often the people who show off on Instagram are doing it for significance because most likely they grew up without it. When I was young I always wished the bullies could see me when I was doing something fun or that I deemed cool because they told me I was loser. No doubt a need to ‘show them’ has subconsciously affected the pictures I’ve posted. My inner child still wanting to show them ‘look at me now.’ Having been taunted about how ugly I was at school I still take all compliments with a side dish of suspicion and it’s 20 years later! 

Nevt time you feel a harsh word to say about someone or a judgement and hands up I do sometimes! Just try and take a moment to question where’s it coming from. Do you even really know the person you’re judging. Is bringing someone else down making you feel better because you’re in a shitty place? Maybe on a level it’s making you feel ‘more than’ but you’re really just reinforcing your belief that you’re ‘less than’ be mindful of that. 

If someone triggers a negative feeling or response in you instead of focusing on the person take them out of the equation and deal with the feeling. It’s never about the other person, it’s always about you and your reaction to the feeling that’s been triggered.

When you feel the call to judge someone or their appearance. Ask yourself who am I to judge, am I perfect? Us this as an exercise to practice empathy. The kinder you are to others the more self compassionate you will be to yourself. #bekind


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